she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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