I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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