2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
