Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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