did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
