Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
