Bisexual people are plain selfish.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
