are you still at the devil's house?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
