Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
