Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
