no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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