the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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