His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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