FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize