Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
