Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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