My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
