I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
