So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize