Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
