He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
