i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
