You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sex in a hospital.. check
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
