At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
her facebook's as public as her vagina
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
