hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
