Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
