Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh god the rape fog is back!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
