Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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