The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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