So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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