I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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