Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
