You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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