I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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