It's Friday. Sex?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
