Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
