Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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