Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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