Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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