she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
