called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
