I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
