Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
