Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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