that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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