So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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