don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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