I bet he comes in French.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
