Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
