Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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