Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize