I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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