sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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