Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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