Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
