i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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