I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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