Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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