Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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