WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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