You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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