Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
