i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
