dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
